Show me the Money



When the Bye Rounds approach and cause the amount of carnage that they do, it’s imperative that our very best players are giving their all for us and produce some strong scores. Unfortunately, the industry has been riddled with several numpties who think they can prance around and do whatever they want. Sadly for us, playing competent football doesn’t sit very high for any of them on that particular list, so Jerry M is being forced to issue them with a not-so-subtle reminder that footballers aren’t paid to turn up to games with wavy locks, fluoro boots and fresh ink. Considering of the five players we put on notice last week, only one managed to respond with triple figures (Nat Fyfe’s 104), it’s probably a good thing for Jerry M’s health and the innocence of one of the most popular Oasis tunes of all time that we Don’t Look Back In Anger too much today. For this week’s list, we’re overlooking Mr. Injury-Prone himself in Daniel Wells (15), and Rory Laird’s (59) disappointing performance can partially be explained by a heavy head knock early in the game.

Robbie Gray

Round 11 Score: 44

We have a saying for people like you Robbie, and I’m sure we’re not alone. It’s called “repeat offender”. So often you’ve bedazzled us with your ability to rack up a heap of the footy and use it pretty well also. But where was all of that guile when your team and owners needed it on Thursday night? The ball literally spent the whole quarter in Port’s attacking half of the ground, the Power dominated the entire game, and you only managed FORTY-FOUR POINTS?? How is it even possible to score so poorly on a night where your team dominated the whole game? I haven’t played football in three years, have hamstrings made of tracing paper and only four of my 10 career goals in high school were from outside the goal square, and I STILL could’ve done better than that! The only excuse you could fall back on for such a dismal game is if you are a) injured early, or b) a key defender. Unluckily for you, you fall under the category of c) neither, and what’s worse, Tom Clurey (62) actually somehow managed to outscore you. TOMMY CLUREY! I haven’t even heard of him! With all this inconsistent scoring, I’ve forgotten whether you’re actually a good footballer anymore, so now would be a good time to go out and prove to us all who you are. Will the real Robbie Gray please stand up and SHOW ME THE MONEY!!

Rory Laird

Round 11 Score: 59

What happened Rory? It looked as though you’d finally got your season back on track with a couple of very good weeks, so what happened? Did you decide that you’d done enough and that it was time to pack it in for the year? Did all your footballing guile decide to just to grow wings and fly off? Maybe it stole your wings as part of its great escape, which would make sense because I haven’t seen a bird so flightless since the Great Emu War of 1932. 89 won’t do at all, but at least it was due to the fact that you butchered the footy, rather than being tagged out of it again which, had that been the case, would’ve been of great concern for all of those that have you in their teams. Fortunately for your sake, you and your Crows have one more game to bounce back and make a real statement before heading into the bye with some form and confidence. You should have no troubles on the familiar carpet of the Adelaide Oval, so bounce back to form and SHOW ME THE MONEY!!

Andrew Gaff

Round 11 Score: 75

Speaking of flightless birds, what’s being put in the water over there in Western Australia? It seems as though the Eagles are a lot like having phone reception, but the only cell towers are located in WA – when they’re close to home, everything clicks into place. But when they’re forced to move interstate, they lose connection very quickly. Andrew Gaff is by no means the only culprit, but he is the barometer of the West Coast midfield, and most good things that happen for the Eagles have a tendency to revolve around him. So when he’s only scoring 75 points against the Gold Coast, there’s something not quite right going on. Gaff is by no means one of the elite SuperCoach scorers, but he represents a unique left-field option for the brave ones among us, and someone of his ability simply cannot be letting his owners down like this. We won’t be seeing him or his fellow Eagles in action this week as they have the bye, giving him plenty of time to stew over his past errors and return to AFL action breathing fire. Andrew, heed our pleas, and SHOW US THE MONEY when you return!


Two more Bye Rounds to go and then we’re in the clear, but every single player out there is being put on notice – we simply refuse to deal with anything mediocre over the next fortnight. Not only is it not ideal, but we cannot afford to be carrying underperforming premiums at this stage of the year. This is the time when the smart SuperCoaches will be bringing in their targeted premiums, so now is the time to be firing on all cylinders. Whether you’ve proven yourself or not already this year, we need everyone to be showing us the money from now until the rest of the season!

Follow Matthew Donald on Twitter

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